It is morning. The morning of the day I am supposed to be doing the groceries with my mother. And I am here. Big mistake.
I'll just check my mail and get out of here, then.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
thankful
Somehow, it always makes me smile when someone makes art for me, even if it's commissioned. When someone makes me graffiti on Facebook, or tegaki art, for me, because of me. When someone makes fanfiction because she knows I'd like to read it. Small things, really, but they make me happy all the same. It makes me know that somebody actually cares about what I like and don't like.
I make a lot of things for a lot of people, and I hope they make them smile the same way I do when I see theirs.
I make a lot of things for a lot of people, and I hope they make them smile the same way I do when I see theirs.
Friday, June 4, 2010
why do i always talk?
Sometimes it's best to just write one's feelings out. Even if it does not make it to the addressee, the very feeling of confessing to a piece of paper is oddly comforting. I am rambling. Not like you will see this, though.
Umm, okay, so maybe that's why paper - and its virtual version - is such a valuable resource in my house.
I have never been one for face-to-face conversations. Face-to-face glaring I am fond of, maybe, even face-to-face snarking. But face-to-face conversation - even the random kind, the kind I am most fond of - has not been exactly what I would call my forte.
For some reason, I have always found it hard to communicate with people. This is mostly because unlike most Filipinos, I have been raised with English as my first language, even if I am a full-blooded Filipina. Therefore, my grasp of the Filipino language is mediocre at best and I wish I could say the same about my grammar, which at worst makes me sound like some kind of gangster.
Words flow a bit more freely out of my mouth when I speak in English; the people I grew up with in class think that I'm some kind of alien from Mars when I speak English, so my mouth stays shut.
Due to a certain anime going by the name of Hetalia and its large Filipino community which always finds some way to insert Tagalog in their fics in one way or another, I have started improving my Filipino. Or at least that's what my finals told me, I think.
But whether it be in English or Tagalog, I have always been struggling for the right words to tell people ever since I was a child. Was I supposed to say this? Or that? Would it have turned out better if I said this? Until I grew up, and decided that it didn't matter.
It didn't matter since no matter how nice I try to be, people will always hate me. Because no matter how little I speak there are people - real, flesh and blood - who I've met in real life or not, been around at almost every day or not, who could actually remember my existence and like me. Because no matter what I say or who I say it to, there are going to be people who will know me because I am me.
...well then. I'll see you guys tomorrow, and I'm gonna read this little fanfic of awesome for a while.
Umm, okay, so maybe that's why paper - and its virtual version - is such a valuable resource in my house.
I have never been one for face-to-face conversations. Face-to-face glaring I am fond of, maybe, even face-to-face snarking. But face-to-face conversation - even the random kind, the kind I am most fond of - has not been exactly what I would call my forte.
For some reason, I have always found it hard to communicate with people. This is mostly because unlike most Filipinos, I have been raised with English as my first language, even if I am a full-blooded Filipina. Therefore, my grasp of the Filipino language is mediocre at best and I wish I could say the same about my grammar, which at worst makes me sound like some kind of gangster.
Words flow a bit more freely out of my mouth when I speak in English; the people I grew up with in class think that I'm some kind of alien from Mars when I speak English, so my mouth stays shut.
Due to a certain anime going by the name of Hetalia and its large Filipino community which always finds some way to insert Tagalog in their fics in one way or another, I have started improving my Filipino. Or at least that's what my finals told me, I think.
But whether it be in English or Tagalog, I have always been struggling for the right words to tell people ever since I was a child. Was I supposed to say this? Or that? Would it have turned out better if I said this? Until I grew up, and decided that it didn't matter.
It didn't matter since no matter how nice I try to be, people will always hate me. Because no matter how little I speak there are people - real, flesh and blood - who I've met in real life or not, been around at almost every day or not, who could actually remember my existence and like me. Because no matter what I say or who I say it to, there are going to be people who will know me because I am me.
...well then. I'll see you guys tomorrow, and I'm gonna read this little fanfic of awesome for a while.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
so it seems i owe you a post.
So, anyway, this shall be terribly short as a only now realized that by my being here, I have delayed lunchtime in our house by about one hour, and my mom's breakfast by two, and thus after this I shall pack up immediately.
My name is Patricia. I have, in a period of five-or-so years, accumulated a handful of blogs. Most of them deal with randomness, my LJ with fanfics. So why, a normal person would think, would I deal with another one?
Frankly, I don't know either. But if I - and you, the poor, hapless victim of my hurried typing - hang around here long enough, we might figure out why.
Wishing that she'll make more sense someday,
Patricia
My name is Patricia. I have, in a period of five-or-so years, accumulated a handful of blogs. Most of them deal with randomness, my LJ with fanfics. So why, a normal person would think, would I deal with another one?
Frankly, I don't know either. But if I - and you, the poor, hapless victim of my hurried typing - hang around here long enough, we might figure out why.
Wishing that she'll make more sense someday,
Patricia
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